Lack of Significant… Significance

Last week I had one of those days. You know, the emotional, almost-that-time-of-the-month days where my hormones thought they had free reign to bounce off the walls of my inner being and annoy the shit out of me. They hide dormant for three and half weeks then all of a sudden, WE’RE FREE! LET’S TORMENT HER BEYOND BELIEF! SHE’S NOT REALLY THAT BUSY WITH FINALS, SCHOOL PROJECTS, FINANCIAL AID APPLICATIONS, HER FULL-TIME JOB AND CHRISTMAS SHOPPING!!! Fuckers.

This time however those emotions got to me because, as much as I hate to admit this, there was some validity to their point. And that point was the lack of significance in my job. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job, believe in my company and even enjoy working for my bosses and with my co-workers. And I have sole responsibility to handle and manage a couple major roles in the company. However, on a day-to-day basis I just don’t feel like I have enough to do and thus feel like I don’t really have a significant impact. So I spent the bulk of one of my days last week dazed off and lost in my emotions over this. 

There are some other points to consider within these emotions before giving them any reign to actually be right however. For one, my last job that I left a year ago worked me to death. I also enjoyed it, mainly because of the very obvious significant responsibilities I had (evidenced by the massive dependence most of the executives had on me to simply show up on a daily basis). Buuuuttt I could easily state that I was overworked. Again, evidence provided by the fact that not one but three people are now doing what I alone used to do for that company and any time I’d go on vacation when I did work there, I had four people trained to back me up, a 40-page procedure manual typed up and bound and I STILL got at least two phone calls a day from my back-ups asking questions. 

So did I just get use to being so overworked for years that I now feel a severe lack of importance at my current job simply because I’m now NOT overworked? Or is there a valid point to saying I don’t have enough to do when I can get away with sitting on the internet for a couple hours a day organizing my to-do list, schedule, and homework? I suppose it’s really all a matter of perspectives really. But I had to give it up to my emotions driving a feeling of unimportance and insignificance at work…. They may be onto something. And only time will really tell.