Last week I found myself particularly stressed due to the upcoming week’s events and task lists. I knew my work week would be busy- as it often is- particularly since I was tasked to head up yet another major proposal for my company of which I had an absurdly small timeframe to work with (causing late night hours of frustration; gee, what else is new?) I also knew my writing classes would be starting and thus, I’d be handling the equivalency of a two full-time jobs with both work and class. All of these details my boyfriend knew well in advance, particularly since I found it of the utmost importance to begin bitching about them as far in advance as possible (otherwise known as, as soon as I found out this was all going down in the same WEEK).
The situation escalated on Friday night however, causing a (rare) argument between us. We both have known for about a month that two of his friends were coming into town on business for a full week; however what we did not know was that they were planning on staying WITH US (don’t they put their employees up in hotels? Cheap asses). That night I had found out that my wonderful fucking boyfriend had fully opened up our itsy-bitsy condo to them without talking to me or mentioning to them my schedule and that I would need evenings to myself without feeling as though I should be entertaining guests (Or bringing more rounds of beer. Or taking shots. Or doing whatever.)
However, in my (*ahem* justified) frustration, did I handle the situation right? Of course not. I was immediately irritated beyond all rational reasoning and lashed out at him about his insensitivity to my schedule and time, who in turn became defensive and lashed out right back to me; and thus the cycle began. After a cool down period- which included a strong cocktail, three cigarettes and about two hours- I was able to somewhat explain to him my frustrations more calmly and was able to understand that regardless of our space and situation, he really wanted to be able to have his friends stay with us and OH SO HOW important it was to him. I had to admit though, I did kinda understand. I’ve lived in much larger place before and frankly it was awesome to be able to entertain and have guests or family over to stay with me. It was a luxury I only had a short time and frankly was quite spoiled by.
Needless to say, this week turned out insanely hectic but as I wind down my Friday I figure, well I’m not dead yet. And I’m getting a pedicure tomorrow (oh hell yeah!) But I realize I have some things to work on, one thing in particular. Next time I find myself in the same situation gearing towards an argument, I’d like to work on my initial approach in airing my frustrations. Once I cool down I’m awesome at it but in those first few crucial moments I have no control and can attack in ways that put grizzles to shame. And it’s so easy to end up saying things I don’t really mean, that I end up paying for big time later (I can usually pull it off with either one of the two B’s- beer or a blowjob. But it’s never easy. Or fun.) And thus I find myself facing my one major area of communicating in a relationship that has been my biggest weakness and focal point for growth. Note to self: I really need to work on this.
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